


Running

by fluffbird



Category: Thomas Sanders
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 07:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10508691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffbird/pseuds/fluffbird
Summary: Anxiety is anxious.





	

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: Anxiety/panic attacks, self hate, suicidal thoughts.
> 
> When I wrote this I intended it as completely platonic, but I guess one could see it as Analogical?

_“QUIET, you!”_

_“But_ I’m _no defeatist.”_

_“Well, almost everyone.”_

…

…

Running. That’s what he was doing. He’d sunk down, he’d appeared inside the mind, and he’d hit the ground running. He wasn’t sure where he was going, he just knew he needed to go away from everyone and everything.

He was running, and running, and running, and then he was not. He collapsed to the ground, pulling his legs to his body and curling up so as to take up as little space as physically possible. His body was trembling violently and his breaths were shallow and fast, but he didn’t even notice as his mind was already occupied with something much, much worse.

_They hate you_ , his mind yelled at him, _everyone hates you, you shouldn’t exist, die, get rid of yourself, go away, you shouldn’t exist, all you do is hurt people, all you do is hurt Thomas, you shouldn’t exist, die, die, die, go away, you useless piece of garbage._

He didn’t know when his eyes clenched shut or when his hands reached up to pull at his hair. He didn’t know when he started whimpering, or when he started rolling from side to side. He didn’t know what was going on, or who he was, or why he was, all he knew was that he was _wrong_ and that he _should just die_ and if he was being honest with himself he actually wanted to.

_JUST DIE ALREADY_ , his mind screamed, _you are useless, you are worthless, you destroy everything you touch. Go away, disappear, you should never have existed, no one loves you and no one ever will._

“I’m sorry…” he whimpered, though nothing but darkness was there to hear him, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

He didn’t even know what he was sorry for, what had happened, who he was. Silently, he prayed for help, for someone to find him, for someone to care about him…

But nobody came.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

“ANXIETY!?”

Anxiety jolted, surprised by the sudden noise. His eyes flared open, gaze flickering around the room to settle on a figure hastily approaching him. Black shirt, blue tie, glasses - Logan had found him. Relief ran through him at the thought that someone was there to help, but it was mixed with fear - what if he wasn’t there to help? For all he knew, the other personality had just come here to yell at him more, to tell him how useless he was, to tell him how wrong he was and how he shouldn’t exist and how he should be de-

“Anxiety, talk to me!”

Logan was kneeling in front of him, eyes filled with sorrow and concern, and Anxiety allowed himself to hope that things were about to turn for the better.

“I- I’m sorry…” he mumbled, pushing himself up into a sitting position, “I’m sorry I ruin everything.”

Logan furrowed his eyebrows. Cautiously, he reached out with his hand, an unspoken request for permission hanging in the air. Anxiety nodded, and Logan gently put his hands on the darker personality’s shoulders.

“Anxiety, look at me,” said Logan, “It’s okay. You’re okay. It’s all going to be okay.”

Anxiety was still trembling, but the horrible thoughts in his mind were starting to fade. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice was telling him that _he doesn’t mean that, he’s just trying to be nice, he’s lying_ , but he ignored it. Still shaking, he gave a small nod, he wasn’t sure if it was in agreement or just an acknowledgement.

Logan kept talking to him, and Anxiety kept nodding. Slowly, the fear started to dissipate, giving way to the sorrow and anger and all the other emotions that were clouding his mind. And as these thoughts were overwhelming him, as he couldn’t help but cry and as he once again lost the strength to hold his own body up, Logan was there. He was there, and he caught him, and he whispered words of comfort and love and encouragement. And when his body finally stopped shaking, when his breathing finally evened out, when tears stopped running across his cheeks, he was there.

And Anxiety realized, that even when it seemed the whole world was against him, he would always have at least one friend by his side.


End file.
